Just Kickin' It

I attended a social work training today about Qigong and how to use it with ourselves as practitioners and with our clients. During this training, the instructor had us do several relaxing body exercises and helped us to focus on our breathing. It was very useful information and I look forward to putting the techniques into practice in the near future. At one point during the training, we were being guided through a relaxation technique while sitting in our chairs, arms relaxed, spine straightened and feet pressed firmly on the floor when my mind began to wander. I know this internal struggle is a part of the meditative process and the point is to refocus my energy back into the exercise but I indulged myself for a little bit.
I began to think about how much vibrational energy is in each one of us as human beings. In that moment I began to feel a sense of compassion for many things, specifically myself. I started to evaluate whether or not recent decisions I made were healthy and beneficial for me. I also began to reflect on some of the statements that the instructor made during the first part of the class. He stated that the food we eat and the air we breath affects our energy. I immediately thought about the sandwich I had from Arby's earlier this week and how much bad energy it probably contained. He also stated that during these exercises, the body will have several responses to letting go and you can easily tell when an area is congested and needs to be released from stress. I found that to be an amazing concept because during most of these exercises, my neck and my shoulders were throbbing.
I couldn't afford to allow myself to daydream much longer but I did make a conscious decision to remember to research Qigong more and see how it could possibly help me further develop my spirituality. I also pledged to be more vigilant about what I eat and to take the time to make healthier food choices. At times, the temptation to eat junk food is so strong that I feel like my will power is being tested. I also wondered how many people in the room were thinking the same thing I was at the moment. How many of the twenty three learners were focused in on this experience and using it for their well being as opposed to just getting continuing education credits? Difficult to tell. So I shook off my string of thoughts and refocused my energy and completed the exercise feeling refreshed and clear headed. Just when it was time to sit back down and learn some more, I hear the familiar rustle of a plastic bag. I look to my right and the old lady next to me who now has white specks of food on her mouth asks, "you want a chip?"
Alas, my answer: twenty two of us.

I See Dead People

As a social worker, I have had many interesting jobs over the span of my professional career. I've worked in the juvenile system, I've had jobs in schools and I have given myself over to the area of mental health completely. I have enjoyed almost every position I've held so far. Some have come as a challenge while others have been very easy for me. Over the past year, I have faced some struggles in my career that I am still currently trying to sort out. I have been angry, sad and at times frustrated about some of the ups and downs I've experienced. After searching for a while, back in March of this year I was offered a job that I would have never pictured myself doing. It's in the medical field and yes it allows me to help people which is what I love doing, but it involved working for a hospice.
When I think of the word hospice the images of flowers and candy don't automatically come to my mind. Instead I picture white sheets , metal instruments and of course, death. Hospice was the place where they put my beloved Gaga (my babysitter when I was a child) when the doctors couldn't do anything else for her. All I remember thinking was that she was going to die in that facility. Needless to say, I didn't know a lot about hospice but I opened myself up to the experience and said yes to the position because I wanted to learn something new.
During the past few months, I have had two experiences where I have been in the room when a patient has died. The first time it happened I was shocked because I had never witnessed anyone die before. When I saw that patient expire, I was filled with many questions about death and dying but didn't quite know how to articulate what I was feeling. The second time it happened, which was a couple of days ago, the primary question that swirled in my mind was if the patient was really there in spirit when she passed away. After observing her labored breathing for a little while and calling her name in an attempt to get a response, I realized that the answer was no. That woman left her body long before her breathing had stopped. It was like looking into an empty shell or gazing at a wax figure in a museum. Her eyes were completely empty when I looked into them and I could tell that she didn't see me even though they were open. I was so convinced that she had already left this realm that I called the family so that they could come and say goodbye. Sure enough when the family came, the woman stopped breathing ten minutes after their arrival. Whoever she was in spirit had made it's peace with this earth and went wherever it was going.
The mystery of death actually hit me in that moment. Not in a bad way but in a good way. I wondered where she went. Was she standing there watching us and giggling as one of the nurses commented about how pretty her complexion was? I don't know. I do know that when I said my silent prayer for her soul to rest in peace, I felt better about her death almost instantly. It's not like I knew her but I felt sympathy for her family. After I left the facility, I had a talk with my sister and I shared with her what I had just witnessed with that patient. After telling me that I needed to get a new job, my sister said that one of her friend's observed the same emptiness when her brother passed away. She didn't think he was in his body either at the time of his actual death. I found this to be confirmation to what I already suspected even though I had no proof. I will never know the answer to my question but it's worthy of some reflection. I guess there are a lot of questions in life that go unanswered and that's one of them.
All in all, working at this job has given me a new perspective on life. Its made me appreciate my health and has encouraged me to live life to the fullest. I have even stopped worrying and being frustrated about a lot of issues that used to bother me before. The most interesting part is that I have developed a pretty sharp eye for spotting the signs of imminent death. I couldn't brag about that quality before but now I can.( I'll have to remember to add that to my resume.) With every job I have, I learn a lot about myself and use it to my advantage. With this job, I am learning a lot about the medical field and other useful information regarding patient care. In fact, just the other day in a meeting, the medical director commented that he wanted to teach each one of us how to feel a patient's stomach to tell if he/she is constipated. The instant he uttered those words I received a quick answer to another question that was swirling around in my head: YES. My sister was right, I need to find a new job.

The Camelback Inn

Back in May, I attended a close friend's graduation party at her home in Waldorf, MD. At this party I was introduced to one of her coworkers and we all began discussing our love for going to the spa for massages and body treatments. By the end of the night after discussing various spas we all decided that we were going to travel to Arizona to experience one of the state's many spas. As we were walking to our cars, we left the party stating that we were going to stay in touch and make plans to have that girls weekend in Arizona very soon. As I departed, I was thinking how great it would be if all of us could really go to Arizona together and treat ourselves to a wonderful weekend. Although in the back of my mind, I was also thinking that we are all so busy that the likelihood of this trip happening any time soon was probably unrealistic. I'm so glad I was wrong.
By the end of the next week, we had secured a date for the trip, chosen a spa and agreed to make this a reality. I have never seen a turn around so fast among a group of women regarding one simple idea to get away for some rest and relaxation. Usually with something like this, there is conflict about schedules, budgets and various other factors, but not in this case. We chose to stay at the Camelback Inn, A JW Marriott Resort and Spa at the end of July. So after weeks of preparing and scheduling our various treatments, we were on our way!
The flight to Arizona was long, which was expected but well worth it in my opinion. When we arrived we were given a free upgrade on the car rental and the ride to the resort was beautiful!

All of the mountains had a reddish brown coloring but all of the trees (primarily cacti) were an earthy green. Our check-in went smoothly and the staff was very friendly. After going to our rooms, which were very spacious (and also came equipped with a kitchenette) we then decided to explore Scottsdale for a while. We went to the casino, grabbed some food and went back to the hotel to rest up for our glorious day at the spa beginning the next morning.
On Saturday we arrived at the spa for our treatments, were given a tour of the facilities and then escorted to a lovely waiting area. We were surrounded by women in white robes awaiting their day of bliss and we could not have been happier. I chose to get the Desert Rain Loofah body treatment first, which was fantastic. I was scrubbed and lathered with all sorts of great smelling salts and oils and then showered with warm water. After that treatment, I was ready for my aromatherapy massage. This was the first time I had ever had a man as a masseuse, so I was interested in what the difference was going to feel like. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. I actually fell asleep and caught myself snoring on the table twice during my massage! He was one of the best massage therapists I have ever had at any spa. After my massage, I decided to eat lunch, which consisted of a sandwich and a salad that had a mix of cranberries, goat cheese, and walnuts. The rest of the afternoon was full of relaxing by the pool but experiencing the torture which is the Arizona sun. It was HOT outside and the only relief I could get was to stay in the pool for most of the day. The conversation was fun with the group of women I was with and it was a very relaxing day overall.
Sunday came and it was time to leave Arizona. We were all having difficulty saying goodbye to such a beautiful place that offered us much peace and contentment over the past couple of days. The last pictures of us were taken at various locations on the grounds and we had a goodbye bowl of guacamole at the R Bar at the hotel. (If I wrote about the food on this trip, I would never finish this blog entry.) We went off to the casino once more to try our luck and then it was time to board the plane home. Although we knew the trip had to end, we were not quite prepared. Leaving Arizona was bittersweet. We wanted to get home to our friends and family but we didn't want to leave such peace and tranquility behind.
The best part about this trip to me, is that we did it. So often women are trapped at work or bogged down with the busy details of family responsibilities that we forget that we are worthy of such escapes. There is something very empowering about traveling to a new destination, getting lost in my own world and being completely focused on myself. I appreciate the fact that I have a job that can fund experiences such as this one. I am grateful for the beauty of the earth that God has given us and I am always delighted when I can seize opportunities and live them to the fullest. This trip was one of the best I have ever taken and I look forward to many more like this one. I am thankful to the group of women I went with and who shared in this experience with me. To Ramonda, LaTonya and Elan: the girl talk was fun and I look forward to doing it again very soon!
Thank you all!

Greetings and Salutations!

Licensed to Release is a blog created by a seeker of joy and abundance. This blog was designed to allow the writer and participants to appreciate the simple things in life. The topics on my blog can range from traveling and documenting my feelings/observations about the experience to watching a documentary and providing my feedback on the subject matter. There are no limits to life so therefore there are no limits to this blog. With every experience whether good or bad there is the opportunity to learn something if one takes the time to sit back and reflect without judgment. This blog is titled Licensed to Release because sometimes I get so caught up in the frustrations of life that I forget that I have several outlets to let go of that negative energy. Whether its photography, journaling or just talking to a friend on the phone, I am licensed to release my feelings in anyway I please and I forget that concept at times. So with that being said, I invite you to participate in some aspects of my life and release yourself as well. I truly believe that I live an enchanted life and I am grateful for all the wonderful experiences that come my way. I think that all of us should take more time to meditate on what we have been given on earth and give thanks every day despite our troubles. Life is about living to the fullest and finding love in our toughest moments. I hope this blog will help me to focus on that idea and encourage you to do the same. I'm so excited and happy about this experience! Peace.