Stepping Out on Faith

About two weeks ago I quit my job. Yes, you read correctly. I quit my job. A couple of months ago I wrote about the toxicity in my work place and the kind of people I was surrounded by on a daily basis. As you can see, I could not take it any longer. I was becoming someone that I wasn't comfortable with and felt my life slipping away and I wasn't enjoying it much anymore. So as hard as the decision was to leave the little sense of stability I had, I was forced to let it go due to situations beyond my control. In a way, I feel as though I was told by God to let my job go months ago but I ignored Him and stayed in a horrible work environment. As a result, I truly believe that God made my work situation so bad that I was forced to take drastic actions to change where I was working and the direction of my life. I feel like God had his foot on my back and pushed me out of the door and into my car and I obliged.
Since my departure from my job, I have felt a restoration occurring in my life. I now have time to speak with my friends, I am now back at the gym regularly and my relationship with God is strengthening. Unfortunately, due to my job many areas of my life began to suffer. Most of the people who truly know me are aware that I am a very introspective person and I work hard to cultivate the life I need and that makes me happy. I work for what I want and I don't believe that anyone can stop me from getting all of the goodness I deserve in life. For some reason, while I was at that job, it seemed like the flow of good energy stopped coming forward to me. I was grumpy, short tempered and never seemed to have enough time to care for myself or for the people I care about the most in my life: my close friends and family. Miraculously, since I have left that job there is a new energy surrounding me. Opportunities are springing up out of nowhere and I am seeing good things flow again and it feels great. Its amazing how one small change can make such a huge difference.
I know that many people are not in the position to quit their jobs like I did but this situation can apply to anything. If someone is in a "friendship" or "relationship" that doesn't make them happy, they can choose to change it. Nothing has to remain the same. I have changed situations many times in my life because I needed to be healthier. I like the feeling of freedom. I didn't like my job situation and the people who were around me. They were mean and gossipy. That's not what my spirit wants me to be and I knew it. When God first gave me the sign that I needed to leave that job, I resisted it because of fear. That bothers me because I have never been a fearful person but looking back I know that's what it was that I was feeling. Finally, He gave me other signs and I literally heard a voice telling me that I needed to step out on faith so eventually that's what I did. It was not an easy decision to make. I have been working since the age of 15 and I like making money. With this is mind, I knew I had to trust my higher power and believe that He would provide for me and He has been doing just that and then some.
I am happier now and every day I feel more connected with my source. I look forward to more doors being opened for me and more opportunities coming my way. I feel the world opening up for me in a new way and I am beyond blessed.

Switch!

As mentioned yesterday in my post I have been getting the answers to a lot of the questions I have been asking for a while. One of my main concerns has been in the area of my career. When I was in my early to mid 20s I was very satisfied with my career path. I was helping people, which I know is one of my strengths and I was getting great employment opportunities. I met people from all walks of life when I attended graduate school and formed bonds and friendships that I know will last me for a lifetime. Over the past three years, I have had a very unsettling feeling about my career and what I was doing. I began to lose the passion for my field and I felt as though I was reaching the proverbial glass ceiling that people discuss. Every job I had seemed dead end and none of my coworkers were really invested in their jobs. I tried every which way I could to reinvent and reclaim the feeling I first had when I began doing social work but for some reason, I just couldn't.

I had a challenging experience occur in April which made me very frustrated and disappointed with my career. It forced me to take a look at what I was doing and why I wasn't as happy as I normally was in my work and life in general. I finally came to the conclusion that I need to make a total career change. When I came to this realization, I was sad and upset. I have invested many years in learning how to effectively help disadvantaged people and assist people in living better lives and now I have to give it up. I know most people will look at this and think that I am making the choice to give it up but I'm not. I feel absolutely compelled to get out of my current field and move on to something else and focus on my wants and desires. I have been searching for satisfaction and happiness and I have known for the past two years that I have not been happy doing what I was trained to do. I am currently in the process of making the transition but I will tell you that I am bored at my current job. I am helping people but the job itself is boring and borderline torturous. I feel no sense of accomplishment and my coworkers do not make life any better for me. That's why I've decided to go into the field of creative arts. Even writing that sentence makes me feel better. I know that I will be doing something that I love and that it sure to bring me some form of happiness.

The only conflict I have with this decision is the fact that I am a damn good social worker and I see the world differently from others. The only positive aspect I get from this career change is that at some point my two worlds will collide and I will be able to combine my art with social justice issues. I always felt that my degree in social work wasn't so much as a career but an obligation/calling from God. I have to do it because on a certain spiritual level it makes me feel good. So, all I can say is that I hope my new direction in creative arts helps people and myself to view the world differently. I am extremely excited about starting this new chapter in my life and I know that it will be fabulous. I know I will meet many beautiful people on my journey who will assist me in helping me to getting where I want and belong in my life. I know I will help them too!

The End Of An Era

About two months ago I wrote a post about Facebook and the lack of intimacy that it provides between individuals. Well, I finally got tired of Facebook and decided to end my relationship with all social networking websites. I just simply became annoyed with all of the nonsense. It was great seeing old classmates and finding people I grew up with in my neighborhood but outside of those moments, I didn't enjoy it much. To be quite honest, I actually found it to be an invasion of my privacy. For those people who do not know me well, I am a VERY private person. I don't share the details of my personal life with many people so for me to be so easily accessible was bothersome. I know I'm not Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry but I do believe that maintaining a certain level of privacy for myself is important. I didn't like the fact that people could look at my pictures and view conversations that I was having with other people. It leaves room for too much interpretation and with my sense of humor, people who do not know me can easily misinterpret what I say.
I also found myself being a bit more intrusive in other people's lives as well. I would get home from work and instead of sitting down and reading a book, I would turn the computer on and immediately begin to shuffle through other people's random vacation pictures, party pics and more. Its not like I'm not interested in what other people are doing in their lives, I just don't think I need to be consumed with it for two hours out of the day. I have literally sat down at 5pm, started looking at Facebook and before I knew it the clock was reading 7pm. That was when I knew I had a problem. I was so involved in other people's lives that I was neglecting my own.
Another big issue for me is that some of the people who were popping up on Facebook were people who I didn't care to know any longer. I am a firm believer that not everyone belongs in my life. When I closed my account, there were many friend requests "pending" and I am so thankful that they will remain in that "pending" area of my life. The fact that I have to keep someone "pending" to be my "friend" speaks volumes to me. Anyway, as I have stated in many of my blogs, I am experiencing a tremendous growth spurt in my life and Facebook was not helping me to focus on myself. I think it did just the opposite and hindered my growth. Now I can come home, read a book and get back to my normally peaceful state of mind. This may not mean a lot to other people, but it means a lot to me. Either way it doesn't matter if others understand it or not. I just know that I feel so much better.

A Simple Concept

About a week ago I walked into the nail salon and as usual I am greeted cheerfully by Peter, the manager of the salon. He gestured for me to sit in his chair and he begins my manicure. Almost as soon as I sit down, Peter begins to sing and he has this delightful look all over his face. His singing continued for about 10 minutes and at times he seemed as though he was singing to me! That is when I realized that I have been going to this same salon for about one year and every time I get my service, Peter is in a better mood each time I see him. When I thought about this, I looked up, gazed at him and said, "Peter, are you always in a good mood?" He immediately looks at me with this puzzled look and asks, "What do you mean?" I then said, "Are you always happy?" Again, he looks at me and says, "Yes! Why not?"
What a simple concept. Yes. Why wouldn't I be happy? The way he responded made me feel foolish. I sat there and wondered what compelled me to ask such a question. Maybe it's because I don't often run into people who are happy every day or maybe it's because I'm not in a particularly happy state of mind. I'm not sure. All I know is that what he said made a lot of sense to me. Why I would question happiness seems absurd. I know I can deduce a lot from his answer but I learned one major thing: I don't want to be in such a negative space that I have to question someone else's joy. For me that is the biggest lesson.